What to say when suffering comes

I have a girlfriend in Colorado who's heart is fresh with pain.  It's a pain I recognize through tears as we talked several weeks ago.  It's a black hole in your heart pain that a person thinks can never be whole again.
Today on Facebook my same girlfriend mentioned that people just need to listen and not offer advice and certainly not act like one of Job's *wise* friends and counselors did for him.  The power of the human ears, listening as James tells us to.  Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

I am so very blessed that within the first few hours and days after our roof cave in I had practical help from my Dad and Mom as well as 2 precious friends who brought us soup, cried with me and told me God's shoulders were big enough to handle my fear and unbelief.  Both of these ladies who ministered to me know unspeakable heart ache well.  But oh, what Glory was given to Him when these beautiful women took our broken family to His feet in prayer!

Today on my run, I listened to our former youth pastor at Paz Naz preach on my iPhone.  Keegz preached on taking the Lord's yoke and be shaped by it.  His message was powerful and I was shouting AMEN while passing the dog walkers in the neighborhood.  Here's an illustration from the sermon:

A pastor filled the altar area one Sunday morning with empty white buckets.  As the pastor began to preach on needs and burdens that the congregation had he offered the buckets up to the congregation to fill with loose change and money in their wallets.  The congregation filled them.  Then the pastor invited the people to come and take as they had need of that morning to keep the lights on, feed their families, put gas in the car to get to work etc.  Nobody moved.  The pastor thought and spoke to those in the congregation who KNEW the needs of those around them and asked them to bring them to the altar and take as they had need.  Nobody moved....UNTIL:  one shaking woman grabbed a girlfriend by the hand and took her to the altar and insisted she take as she had a great need.  The woman, sobbing, took and then turned back to find her seat.  As she did so, another woman in the congregation sprang up and said "Oh, no!  You know that's not enough!"  and she encouraged her friend with a knowledge of the need as well to take as she needed.  Her burden was lightened.  Messiah had provided for her and the congregation met the needs of others that day and left with burdens eased and a sense of compassion for one another.

That's the greatest thing you can do when someone you know is suffering:  meet the emergent need of bringing them to the Lord, showing them the way to Him, sharing your own suffering and sorrows if they are similar and applicable.  Hot soup, later a batch of cookies, ironing a shirt for court, watching my children, crying with me, listening to me, scrapbooking with me, teaching me to stamp and telling me that God's shoulders were big enough for my unbelief were enough for me to come close to me in my suffering.

My sweet girlfriend, T.H., I'm bringing you before the throne today.  How I wish I could hold you and share tears with you and LAUGH with you.  I have lovely pictures of your children and you together when they were little.  The memories I am reliving with you now we will both do one day before the Throne of the King.  Until then, please know, God's shoulders are big enough, His provision for you is great and the black hole will become sealed up in your heart through the continuous blood of Messiah washing your wound to healing.