From Desperate to Peace

The sun is not yet awake.  Once again I pad downstairs, pup in tow.  Drawn to hot coffee and His beautiful, life giving Word.

I turn on soft piano hymns and open to my study.  This morning, with a lengthy to do list for the day, I must take time to center myself in Him and His desire for the day ahead if there's any success to be had.

Pup settles into his bed, puppy snores begin.  House is asleep and harmonic hymns fill my ears as my heart breathes and beats with each word read.

Edom rebells, as God wills I read.

Hymns sing  Let Thy Goodness, like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee.

This is my Father's world, He shines in all that's fair.

Edom rebels and keeps her idols and pride and God still called to repentance.  This world cries for us to remain as Edom.  Rebellious to God even to this day.

Yet I know my Redeemer Liveth and am Persuaded, that HE is able to keep that which  I've committed to Him.

Hands lift, soft hymns seem to resound in my soul as they play and I lift the rebellion of my plans for the day to the One who provides the very air I breathe and I am filled.

Now, not desperate, not weary at the taking the day and my life into my own hands, I can give thanks.

1.  Sleeping house

2.  Hot coffee

3.  Dishwashers that hum softly

4.  Girlfriends who call and text

5.  Puppy's snuggles and snores

6.  Breathing Out the Desperation of a long to do list and Breathing In the Joy of the Savior, for this is life.

Have a beautiful day, committed to the Savior who gently woos us to Him.

Listening, He is

Day dawns gray, cold.

Coffee steams, together prayers said and kiss good-bye.

Time to nestle-in.  The big overstuff chair calls me to open the Word.  Candles lit, piano music plays nearby and I read Genesis.  Beginnings.  I read the Word and it comes alive.  This story of Esau/Edom and Jacob.  Deception, Hunger, Pride have their say and I listen for Him who instructs in such things.

Follow My Ways, Cast your burdens to me, Take my Yoke Upon You.

Prayers said, children wake, day begins, to do list screams.

We read.  Breakfast bowls clinging with spoon.  Together, taking in Amy Carmichael.  We hear, see His provision for her.

He hears, He sees and we seek Him.

Then it begins.  Young One Erupts, hands flail, tears flow.   I listen, hear and cry with him.  Not understanding that I KNOW.  I understand.  I feel too, yet I listen for Him to guide.

Heart so tender, sensitive, and hurt.  It bleeds fresh and I quicken to hold each precious, loud cry for help.

I beg for help from Him who knew all beforehand.  Who's ways aren't ours, yet give Life. Beyond all we could ask....imagine.  He offers life.  

Tearfully I offer truth.  It aches, yet there develops a peace in the knowing.

Listen, Hear, Help us Lord!  A young one must choose Life in the moment.  Not the one he sought,  the one You offered.

I hold the boy close who will all to soon not want such cuddles with mama.

Day is still gray, cold.  

yet contentment and peace bud in a tender heart in the knowing.

He counts thanks:

Carpet that keep feet warm

Candles to give us light

Microwaves to warm our dinner!

on and on he counts as vacuum whines.

Mama adds:  a young heart....it's listening.