Living by Faith

Everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing, let Mercy fall on me. Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior, the Hope of nations. Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is Mighty to Save!

This song has become my theme for the time in the terrible pit. After the initial few weeks were over, we settled into a routine we would keep up for several months. John was home every Friday to manage lawyers, therapy appointments, insurance issues, and social workers.

When the rubble had settled the decision was made by the Commonwealth of Va that I, as the Mom, was to blame for the destruction that occurred in our home. We were left without recourse against the boy and family who'd played truth or dare and assalted our precious boy to begin with.

As my husband and I prayed and prayed over our family and begged Christ to be our advocate in a juvenille system we didn't understand, God was at work and using other people to meet immediate needs. He was clearly being our Advocate! Yet at the time I just couldn't see it through the pain.

A precious family that I met in our local crafting circle was all to familiar with what we were going through. They have been there for us through everything, counseled, prayed, crafted with me through tears, held my hand, signed me up for Bible Studies, explained the new-to-us sex offender lingo and on and on. They have become some of our sweetest friends over the course of the last 15 months.

Another angel God used was actually a group of women from Ft. Lee, Va PWOC. Cheri called and said "Wanna go to Women of Faith? I've got a spot for you and it's on me/PWOC." Best decision I ever made: I WENT! What a breath of fresh air to my heavy laden spirit and body. A girlfriend I could talk to about old times in Italy, new directions for Sr. leaders in the Army we both knew as well as our own children and circumstances. The talks and music were God inspired and I came away from that weekend with my first bit of strength in many, many weeks. Before leaving the conference, I purchased several CDs of inspirational music for my car. I would listen to them each time I drove to and from seeing our son. I'd cry, pray and praise and remember God's promises to His people on each trip.

It was about this time that God began to give me a real heart for hurting Moms and the burdens we each share. Coming out of jails, treatment facilities, courtrooms I'd continually see tears, Bibles, and clasped hands in prayer. I hugged them. We'd chat a bit in our tears and hold eachother up as best as we could. Some moms I only saw once or twice before their child was transfered, some I got to know a bit better.

Christ was and continues to be our Advocate. He continued to block the flaming darts of the Enemy while we were searching for the way out of the pit. Charges against me were dismissed as quickly as they were brought up. I remember coming home and crawling into bed after being in Court that day. It was all I could do. I laid there thinking how many other Mothers are out there hurt like this? How can I reach them, Lord? What would you have me to do if I could?

That's when it was time to go back to Hebrews and read about the heros of the Faith. It was time to fall flat on my face before the Lord and pray for directions, restoration and healing. Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

By faith we are believing and walking the above verse from Hebrews. We cannot see it at this time, but I no longer doubt (and I did in the beginning!!!) that God will receive Glory for the things we are experiencing right now. By faith I believe in the restoration of Job and his wife and family. By faith I believe; My God is Mighty to Save.