Christmas Eve:

We'll have a fall/December Update tomorrow!

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Holiness = Love, please, please read.....

Ministry Matters™ | Articles | Holiness = Love

From our family's heart to yours!

Cows, goats and Pumpkins!

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www.onetruemedia.com  We had such a fantastic day at Cox Farm with friends.  The kids got to milk a real live cow, feed goats, slide down slides of various heights, sip cold apple cider, eat crisp fall apples and pick out pumpkins.

It's always better shared with friends, of course.  The J. family was able to make it and introduce us to new friends Lisa and Aubrey.  So  fun to meet new moms.  The H. family came and that gave Jman a break from all the girls.

Why I didn't take pictures of the hay ride is beyond me.  But!  It was delightful to see Em and V snuggled up close and covering ears when one got scared in the haunted barn.  Em and I decided girlfriends don't let girlfriends be scared alone.

So, I'm tackling pumpkin puree canning/freezing this year and have a start with some softening in the oven now.  I'll scoop out the flesh of the 3 pumpkins we bought, turn it into pumpkin butter, then pressure can it.  should make for yummy pies, bread toppings and pumpkin breads later.

The picture of candles on the coffee table is something I wanted to share with you.  It's what John and I do most evenings in the fall.  We share our day in front of these candles.  Makes for a very happy hubby when he comes home to them all lit!
We are enjoying fall!

Some more summer pics

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www.onetruemedia.com  Thought you'd all like to meet some of the moms I do life with here.  I realized that we've had a lot of fun together the last 3 years and have very few pictures to show for it.  On Sept 11 I figured it would be a good idea to celebrate life and enjoy the freedom to apple pick with homeschool friends and then make apple sauce.  I didn't take any pictures of the apple sauce, but I canned over 30 quarts of apple sauce, apple butter and apple pie filling.  The kids are a huge help and John jumped in last week to assist with the final batch of pie filling.  It turned out yummy!
My girlfriends Kim, Anna-Britt and Dawn met out at the orchard.  Somehow we didn't get pictures of Dawn.  We'll need to fix that next time.

On the first Saturday of the month we host a potluck BBQ for families we are close to.  Of course, every month I swear I'm going to take pictures and we never do.  This last month we did snag a quick pic of Molly and I together at the end of the evening.  These are always such special times for the Dads and Kids to fellowship.  Sharing hearts, creating community, praying for one another, that's what it's all about.
The last but not least mom in this montage is Emily.  I took this shot at church camp meeting a couple of weeks ago during worship time.  Her sweet boy was exhausted from a long weekend at camp and snuggled up to  mom so sweetly.  It's always a blessing when moms get to hear the entire sermon!!
I love these moms and all their kids.  We do life together and I think we're doing it pretty darn good.

here's a quote about Hope from a book I'm currently reading that I enjoyed this morning.  I had no idea just how much I was going to need these phrases today!
 "Hope dares to imagine the future as a legitimate alternative to the vicious repetitions of the past.  But the refusal to forgive is a toxic memory of the unforgiven past poisons the present and contaminates the future."-Brian Zahnd from his book Unconditional the Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness.

We had a peaceful Yom Kippur here this week, but I didn't take any pictures.  We just took it easy and the boys had a huge play date for the afternoon.  It was a  great day!

  

Prophetic Holy Feasts | Blowing of Trumpets

It was just a day of homeschooling.  That's all.  As was our custom for many years, we read.  Every morning 10 AM.  We read and read and read.  History, historical fiction, missionary stories, apologetics, science and so on.  Upon our move to Italy a few years later, we'd have collected 9 six feet tall book shelves full of our reading and studying material.

But, back to the particular morning above.  We were studying from a very intriguing book by Foster entitled Augustus Caesars' World.  We loved it.  Living in Germany at the time, so very close to Rome,  (closer than Illinois anyway.....)we loved studying European History with Sonlight Curriculum.  But then it happened, we started to learn exactly what happened in History, the taking over of the Scriptures by early church fathers and councils.  The Roman influences on everything from our calendar to the months of the year, days of the week and the Roman gods such a calendar represents.  We read and discussed the taking over of druid holidays by the Church to convert many to Salvation.  As a mom, I had no idea where this would all take us, where any remedy for us might be found in helping to keep our eyes on Jesus.  After all, He is the author and finisher of our Faith.

So, we went to Awana.  I was and am so grateful for the part that amazing program has played in the lives of helping to develop my children.  We memorized Scripture, played games and learned about sportsmanship.  But most of all, we memorized Scripture.  We studied to show ourselves approved because approved workmen are not ashamed!  

Now, here we are 10 years or better from that morning in Germany above and it's 10AM.  We've just read and discussed Scripture, the Feasts, it's significance in our lives today and in the life of the Church.  We read Psalm 81, Ezra 3 and are learning more and more about Worship in the life of the Christian.

No, we aren't being legalistic.  No, a single celebration kept isn't what Salvation is all about.  But I can tell you what our years of study, reading, sitting under powerful Pastors of God's Word and the New Covenant have taught us: an appreciation and love for the entire council of YHWH.

We understand Jesus, Messiah, better.  Who He was, IS and FOREVER will be.  What He fulfilled, what He provides for us through His death and the power of God unto Salvation for all who believe.

This morning, at 10 am, once again, through study, while our world rages in war and rumor of war and martyrs are being made, we are Shouting!  Blow the Shofar!  Our God Reigns.

Thank you, YHWH, for the gift of schooling my children, Your children.

Watch the video above, and come study with us.

A Day of Sounding

http://www.ourwholeheartedfamily.com/blog/category/biblical-holy-days/

I wish I were a better blogger and understood how to imprint text correctly to just say "go here" and you could click on a pretty link that everyone else seems to know how to do.  However, until Stephanie herself comes and hangs out on this coast in Oct, I'm just going to have to continue in my primitive ways.

I started last December with a Kings and Prophets 5 Part Bible study by Precept Ministries to try and learn even more about the Old Testament and YHWH's ways and teaching.  I've just wanted to read the Bible and the Bible only, studying precept upon precept as we should to find more and more ways of how we are free to live our lives.  (Gal 5:1)

The more I read, pray and study, the more fascinated I am with the provision of the FEASTS of Israel.  They are such a gift to us, such a heart opening amount of love for us to understand Him better.

Tonight at Sundown, we should be able to find the sliver of the new moon and the Day of Sounding (Trumpets) will begin.

Just another deeper way the Father, dying on the Cross for us gives us the ability to worship Him completely.

There are a couple of things in the text I've linked to above that are a bit of a jump for John and I, but after reading and studying with John this weekend, I wanted to share it with all of you.

Of course, we are NOT saved by works or legalism or the blowing of a shofar or the keeping of any Festival.  But I can say for myself that these set apart times are wonderful insights for me and I enjoy scratching the surface of them with my children around the breakfast table.

What a Summer it was!

***Disclaimer!  Turn the music down!  I have no idea what posted with the video, but it's not the music I chose this morning!!!!****

Well, we've all been alive, just wonderfully busy enjoying a fantastic summer.  One of the gifts that I'm finding from not moving for 4 years now is a great summer knowing where you are at, where you can travel to and truly enjoy the time with no school work or outside demands!   Here's an update from all the goings on.

1.  Adam graduated from High School and received a wonderful scholarship that will pay for all of his Freshman and Sophomore years.  He had a quiet summer at home, worked a bit at a local coffee shop, and got back in the swing of cooking for the family.  We always enjoy when Adam gets out the spices and kicks things up a notch.  Adam left for college in late August.  He's studying at Richard Bland College in Petersburg, Va.  It's a 2 year Community college that prepares kids to enter William and Mary after graduation.  Ofcourse, it's my hope that he'll find his way to one of the great Nazarene Schools and graduate from there.  (Hey, a Mom's got a right to a say, right?)  Adam's keeping us all abreast of fantasy football and I am happy to hold over his head that the Bears beat the Giants in preseason before he left home.

2.  Lyndsay came home and starting pounding the pavement immediately looking for a job and place to live.  She sent out no less than 60 applications all over the USA and after 3 months found a job working in Winchester, Va for Valley Health.  Lyndsay works on a telemetry floor caring for Cardiac Patients.  Her preceptor is a Youth Pastor's wife from Purcelleville, Va. She is very comforting to Lyndsay from a professional and spiritual perspective.  They've become fast friends, for which, I'm very grateful.  Lyndsay found a brand new apartment in historic Old Town Winchester and she and Joy Bug are very happy there.  You'll find a picture of her with her new apartment keys at Olive Garden where we went to celebrate.  Lyndsay comes home often to do her laundry and hangout with Emily and Jesse.  They are very happy to have their sister again!  Oh, to break some of the employment stress this summer while waiting, Lyndsay helped out with the kids at their swim meets.  We had a blast cheering them on.  Our community at Urbanna Swim Club is just a blessing to us.

3.  Emily and Jesse had a blast of a summer.  We went to Hershey park, rode rides and made chocolate bars.  We took a trip to Hilton Head South Carolina and rode bikes, pet the horses, ate at Salty Dog Cafe, swam in the ocean, ate amazing Italian food, watched TV and made plans to take the entire family with us next year.  Hours at the pool, helping me can jams, jellies, soups, green beans and on and on.  Well, it was such a summer for childhood fun and they have had it!

4.  John is doing great at Integrity management consulting.  He's taken trips to Kansas City, San Diego and how now attended working breakfasts at the Army Navy Club in downtown DC.  He's very happy there, loves civilian life and we are all enjoying the easier hours.  He wore his Dress Blues for the last time on Active Duty to Adam's graduation.  I treasure those pictures.

5.  I've joined a local gym, workout 5 times a week, and try to keep in some sort of shape.  My new favorite thing is Body Pump.  Total blast with girls weight lifting and getting tone.  I now know for certain that I have triceps because they often hurt after working out.  I've enjoyed restocking the house and canning all summer.  We thought we were moving to the middle east, again!  So, I'd gone through all of my stash everywhere.  It took about 4 months, but we are all stocked up and ready for winter.  Classical Conversations has taken a lot of my summer time this year.  I took a 6 week Latin Course and now understand enough to try and tutor my 10th graders on Fridays.  I also had the dining room a mess with a leaky ceiling for 4 weeks of the summer while it was repaired TWICE!  But it now looks beautiful and there was no real damage thank goodness!  Oh and to top the summer off, 2 weeks ago I went cow shopping with my girlfriend, Emily in Amish Country, Md.  Yes, cow shopping.  Total hoot!  Long story, good memories!

This fall we are looking forward to visits from the B family after Sukkot and my mom for Thanksgiving.  I also wanted to give you a heads up on some cooking/ canning books you may want to consider for your library:  Blue Ribbon Canning is a new favorite of mine.  A new girlfriend of mine here in Va will have her cookbook released 1 OCT it's called A Farmer's Daughter, recipes from a Mennonite Kitchen by Dawn Stotlzfus.  Also, look for her blog!  I'll try and get her button up soon on my blog roll!  That's it for now.  Time to hit the school books!

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Love, the message of Pentecost.

YHWH's word, alive, each morning in my ears as my feet pound pavement.

Sweat drips, miles roll by

Heart worships

Hands lift

Eyes close

I breathe in Him, who suffered, died and rose again.

I ponder the disciples, waiting for the Comforter promised.

Omer counted, it's day 50

Spirit speaks, all is Grace, Hold my hand

Arms out

Heart stretches, reaching for Him.

Love speaks.

The blessing, the Grace this Shavot is Love.  The Ruach of YHWH (Holy Spirit) separates, fills, and blesses.

What if the fiery Tongues this Pentecost reflect the birth of Love in the Church?

The house that Love rebuilds, guarding beauty, that lives here still....

It's You and me, me and You

My Kinsman Redeemer

Love, unspeakable Love.

Grace flows down and covers me.

Of Legacy Building

Without warning, Elijah comes on the scene in the Old Testament in 1Kings 17.  Instantly, he proclaims the word of the LORD as it relates to drought.  After year upon year of horrid kings in the Northern Kingdom of Israel, Ahab was now seated on the throne, building Samaria and a temple to Baal.  Ahab had done more iniquity than all the kings before him according to the end of 1Kings 16.

"From where did Elijah's legacy of the knowledge of Yahweh come?" was my first thought this morning upon reading 1 Kings 17.  Where had he learned the Torah?  Where did he worship?  Who poured the sweetness of the knowledge of God into his soul in spite of such ungodly leadership?

After Elijah's proclamation to Ahab, the LORD immediately provides a hiding place for him near the brook where ravens feed him.  The LORD speaks to Elijah again as the brook dries up from drought and sends him to a widow for comfort.

Seeing Elijah, the widow recognizes God in him.  Vs 12 says  As the LORD your God lives.....

Clearly a legacy of the knowledge of God could have been granted this widow as well during such a time of Lawlessness in the land.

In just about every corner of our lives today we can see the lack of God and His ways.  Yet the need remains to raise up a generation who will know and proclaim His ways and Word.

A chance arose in my home this week to practice legacy building.  While talking about a recent need with a friend over the phone, we elected to end our time in prayer together.  Silently, my young one came to my side and placed his hand on my back.

I reached for it.  I drew him close to me.  My girlfriend said Amen and our conversation closed.

Young one says to me, "Mom, is everything ok?"

Taking his sweet eyes into mine, I replied, "Son, you have a choice of things to take from your childhood.  You will have the chance to say, 'Mom and Dad's life was so hard. I'm going to do my own thing.'  Or you can say 'Mom and Dad took all of their victories and circumstances to Jesus and waited for His answer and blessing.'  Which will you choose, son?"

My young one quickly stated, "I choose the 2nd one, Mom!"

I wonder if Elijah and the widow's mothers did the same for them and that was the start of the legacy of the knowledge of His power in their lives?

Children's hearts are so ripe to receive the Seed.
Choosing legacy with you,
Kellie

Ankle Biters: Opportunities of Hope!

We all know about them, don't we?  Ankle biters come in all shapes and sizes at times.  From ants at a picnic to a flat tire that keeps us from making an appointment on time.  Sometimes days come full of them.  My day yesterday was full of ankle biters.  Here are a few of them.  I discovered that I have a couple of nagging vitamin deficiencies going on that need addressed, my painful knee is probably arthritic, a financial issue we've wanted to wrap up for 6 weeks still can't make any headway,  a child spent the day at home with vomiting and stomach cramps,  one child can't seem to tell time when asked to perform a task, I've lost all my notes for the upcoming school year, I can't find the scrapbook album that I need for this weekends crop and on and on the day went.  Whew!  What a day of ankle biters, things that need handled.

I'd wanted to have a day of Bible Study and school preparations for next year.  I even pulled out a new book in the middle of the day in attempt to get started on something to take my mind of the hard day of ankle biters and wound up reading the same page 5 times before I just had to give up and admit defeat for the day.

Then this morning, as I was shining my sink the verse in Peter  came to my mind.  I have a Living Hope!  A smile came to my lips instantly and my heart began to overflow with the mercies of a new day ahead and tackling my to-do list with gusto!

1Peter 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

So, my day started, lists made, children set to work, I headed out for my run.  I began to pray, thank Him for being my Living Hope and lifted up yesterday's struggles to Him.  They are the small things in life, yet they are important to the Savior as they are used for refinement in us.  I began to pray about how to write  about ankle biters and could my post sound like anything except whining about a rough day.

Then it happened, that cursed snake!  From the beginning of time a liar and a thief and cursed by God the one who, for a little while, has power and seeks to kill and destroy.  Yep, he was mouth open and ready to strike at my ankle on the side of the busy road I was running on.

I lept.

Protected by my Living Hope, I vowed that I would come home and write about His perfect protection from the ankle biters in life.  The big and the small, the circumstances and living things, all are used for our refinement.  Nothing is wasted.

Now it's time to ice down this sore knee, consider joining a gym that has bikes to ride, and maybe take up juicing for my vitamin needs.

Blessings upon you!

May Update-Motherhood!

Mile after mile I've walked, run, prayed and written more journaling pages, and typed more blogs than I can count.  Today was no exception to my normal rule.  As a mom I'm greatly in need of the exercise for my body and the time to Worship the Savior in my soul to find refreshment, encouragement and instruction.  More often than not I come home ready to sit down and type out a morsel to share on this blog, and as always, I head to some of my favorite writers for some further inspiration before sitting down to do so.  Then it happens, I find these writers and moms I consider friends and kindred spirits have already written it for me.

Yet, while these women who's blogs, talks and writing (and hugs!) inspirer me in my Walk as a wife and Mom, they can't do the job for me on a daily basis.  I have to do that work.  Washing one more dirty dish, one more load of laundry, one more meal to prepare, one more lesson to oversee, one more attitude to train and the list for a Mom goes on and on, doesn't it?  The truth of the matter in my current walk is that I've never been a Mom to 4 growing children, 2 of whom are graduating this year, one a new teenager on the cusp of young womanhood and one rambunctious boy to send off to Scout Camp for the first time this summer.  Did someone say 23 years of marriage is coming up?  (How on earth did that happen?!  Just yesterday we were both super skinny and 20!)

I'm grateful to have the women and mentors in my life that  I do.  I've updated the list of blogs they write on the right hand side.  Head on over and check out all God is doing in their lives.  Be encouraged in the high calling of Motherhood and have your ideals and desires strengthened!  But before you do that, click on the video above and view the pictures from the craziest few weeks a Mom could possibly have.  I've been so blessed to have been the recipient of answered prayers that are shown in the pictures above.

Now I have to take out one more batch of cookies hot from the oven and do one more taxi run for the day.  I love motherhood!  Be Blessed!!!

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Spring Update

The time of the Spring Feasts of the Lord have occurred at our house and it hit me that I didn't take any pictures of our celebrations at all.  As you can see from the pictures, it's been a busy Spring so far.  Let me get you caught up on all the goings on!

1.  Emily makes us the most amazing bread each week in our bread maker.  She's adept at grinding from wheat berries and putting all the ingredients in our bread machine.  It tastes as fresh and yummy as it looks and we love smearing peanut butter and home made jam on each slice!  There are pictures of her attempt at cookie baking  with a young friend in the video as well as Em's bread.  The cookies didn't turn out so well, but there was fun in the attempt.

2.  John is just about done with military life.  He has 2 more appointments this week on Wed and Thurs then it's hanging out for a couple of weeks before starting his new position here in No.Va. for a small, but growing fast company.  Pictures from last week's retirement events are coming.  I should meet with the photographer soon to get a CD of all the amazing shots she took.  In honor of his new commute, he bought himself a new (to us anyway) car last week.  There are pictures of him and Adam climbing in it this morning!

3.  Adam is doing great.  He helped get the garden together this weekend with John.  The building went well and our garden is now in and planted.  Adam's been accepted to Richard Bland college here in Va.  He's headed with John for the day to do some testing and placement as well as meet with his counselor and get registered for fall classes.  He was also hired today for a small part-time job here in town.  So excited for him!  He'll be 18 soon.  Time sure flies.

4.  Jman's piano recital also happened last month.  He did a wonderful job!  He was the last of 30 or so students and I was so proud of him.  The nervousness building and building....he just went up and nailed his piece!  He loves the piano, practicing with his BB gun in the yard and playtime with the guys.

5.  Lyndsay is nearly finished with her nursing degree.  I can't believe in one month I'll have my first college graduate!  Lyndsay has been granted an interview with John's Hopkins hospital next month.  To say I'm the proudest mom around would be an understatement!

6.  Our Hebrew Calendar has been printed out from thinkredink.com  I can't vouch for anything on their site besides the calendar, or any links they may have. But the calendar is spot on!   I was happy to find it as it keeps us thinking and planning and reading the Word as it relates to the appointed festival times in Scripture.  We are now counting the Omer to Pentecost and, as we are just on day 2, aren't lost yet!  John lead us in a wonderful Passover, Unleavened Bread and First Fruits Bible time each day this last weekend.  We enjoyed sermons from Jim Staley at Passion for Truth Ministries, searched Scriptures, and researched the first council of Nicea for our studies.  Whew....the learning never ends, does it?  YHWH's ways are not our own and we long to have our hearts looks like His and our Worship be acceptable to Him.

We greatly rejoice in all He's provided and done for us.  Our hearts are very full, the children are growing and a new chapter in our lives is being written.  We are deeply blessed and pray each of you are as well!

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You can stand. He's With You

Standing on the Promises of God when life hits you at its most raw is tough.  As is normal for me, I turned to music to encourage my soul on our drives to and from visitations, doctors, therapists and lawyers.  More than one time I just let the tears flow while listening to this song and committed the truth that YHWH would never leave us or forsake us to my heart.  It took many miles.  It took many tears.  It's taken two and a half years.  We are standing.  But we aren't standing or building for that matter on legs of the past.  We stand after having our legs unable to hold the weight of it all buckle underneath us, yet be protected by the Shield of  Faith.  (Eph 6)  See, when you're a heap on the ground,  the shield can and does cover your body.  Slowly but surely we began to heal up, and we continue to do so.  Honestly, the prayers said on our behalf from all of our friends and church family sustained, strengthened and fed our weakened bodies to allow us to Stand.

Eph 6:12-15

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore, take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;   above all, taking the shield of faith with you with which you will be able to quench all the firery darts of the wicked one!

2 and a half years ago, the girlfriends around me began struggles of their own with very ill children, very sick mommas, and in my home we had very broken (emotionally and spiritually speaking) children.  It is such a testimony that we encouraged one another through the distraction of a fitness competition!!  We lost weight, got fit, I started running and we all worked together to Stand in the midst of the trial.

He was with us.  He guided, protected, encouraged, provided when we thought time had run out for anything to happen that we needed.  In essence, He blessed all of our socks off while walking through the  flames of life at its peak!

We have so much to celebrate in the months ahead:  John's retirement, 1 college graduation, 1 high school graduation and launching these big kids off to jobs and new scholastic careers.  I can't wait to write about those amazing and exciting times that begin here in a few short days!

Until then, head on over to MomHeart.org!  Lots of Mommas loving life, walking with Him and growing in their high calling as mothers!  Some authors are even new girlfriends to me.  Be blessed!

Broken Praise- Todd Smith (with lyrics) The kind of friend I want to be

My girlfriend, Heidi, sent me a Facebook note a few weeks back, maybe and asked me to consider typing a note about Job's friends.  In normal Kellie fashion, I said Of COURSE I would, after all I have LOTS of experience with Job's friends the last few years.  Certainly, I could find a way to use all my experiences (there have been many the last 2+ years!)  and thoughts to type an eloquent essay on exactly how words add pain to friends already in pain and how we aren't to do such things.  Umm....NOT!

The simple fact is that just one week later, a friend I first met when she was Miss W, shared a heart ache with me.  Miss W was an amazing Witness to me of Christ's love while we were in school together and I watched her life and the life of her Mom, a constant at childhood school events of ours.  I was drop dead jealous of her relationship with her sweet mom and continued to watch their family as we both grew up.  When I finally made a commitment to Christ in Oct of 86, it was partly because of Miss W in my life as a childhood friend.

Therefore, I was surprised when out of my heart came less than helpful words when she shared a recent heartache.

"So, you aren't one of Job's friends yourself?" is the answer my heart gave me back.

Ouch!  There I was face to face with my own immaturity.  I had a couple of choices in that moment.  I could try to justify my initial thoughts or repent quickly from it, thank the Lord I hadn't spoken it aloud and pray earnest prayers on my friend's behalf.  I chose the prayerful way and was quickly reminded of the friend I wanted to be to Miss W now that we are grown up wives and moms.

We have such an example of the friend we are to be in the Gospels.  Jesus entered a town and was preaching inside a home.  It was crowded and there was no way to enter inside the home: EXCEPT THROUGH the ROOF!  Friends of a paralyzed man carried him on his mat up to the roof, tore off the roof and lowered their friend down in front of Jesus to receive a much needed healing.  The man was healed in the presence and name of Jesus to rise up and walk.  He took up his mat and did just that!

That's the kind of friend I want to be.  Tearing off the roof and lowering those who share requests with me down to the throne of Jesus, for Him to love and care for!  Always pointing to the Cross for joy and comfort and healing has become a mantra for me in my Walk the last year or more.

Job's friends kicked sand in his open wounds with all their theology and ideals.  A broken man, sitting in ashes, heaped with boils on his skin and sorrow unbearable in his heart said "Though He slay me, Yet will I trust Him."  There's an example for us to follow.  In our home, we've had to cling to it at times when some have shared their thoughts with us.

These last few posts are just some of the ways of "How I'm doing it."  I don't know how to walk this horribly broken road we are walking still today.  Insecurity, fear, great financial struggle, loss of oh so much more than can be written.  We aren't walking total restoration as of yet.  There's so much more that needs to be accomplished in our lives to receive the total restoration Job did receive.  But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I know the only Person capable of healing us, restoring us and setting us upon the path we are to walk for His Glory.  John and I both must turn to the Cross, the Messiah who died upon it for us and the Empty Tomb He left for our direction and guidance.

We both must, separately and together, believe that if the only restoration we fully receive is our Salvation and that if our cup is never restored fully again.  We'll both sing: HALLELUJAH!  You are enough, Jesus, our Messiah!

next up:  Standing is tough stuff!

Mac Powell (Third Day) - Films and Music Inspired by THE STORY "When Lov...

Love has everything to do with it.  What ever heart break or struggle, what ever Victory given over circumstances that arise in life.  Love touches, heals, hopes, endures, prays, laughs.  But most of all, love SAVES.  Eph 2:8-9.  You are saved by GRACE.  His glorious Grace.  It's a gift of God, so that no man can boast.  (my paraphrase)  Where ever you may be, or those you love may be in their life right now....reach out in love.

Next up:  Some lessons learned from Job.

What's in a book?

I entered the dark room and salivated at the numerous books on dusty shelves.  Piled high and deep, the tomes bowed the shelves.  Children's literature, Historical Fiction, Science Experiment helps and so many more drew me to them to take in their spines and analyze their titles.  Many I had already purchased for our home library and were reading to my children, of course, as a young mother at the time, I felt as if I was doing the best for my children and left this mom's home encouraged.  Upon my next visit, I noticed many titles I'd not had the chance to view previously.  Shelf after shelf of self help books which this mom could name and tell you all about at the drop of a hat caught my eye.  In that instant, standing there in the dark library, I felt the Lord say to me:  Look for fruit.  As I looked around, I viewed a great many ideals, but very little fruit in the lives of the people who's home I was in.  As I drove home that day, I realized that I could let the Lord be the instigator of what we read and how we live out what we put into our minds and hearts or I could just collect books on ideals without much time to cultivate fruit from Truth.

I made a commitment then to seek Him in literature that would develop me as a professional-for-Messiah wife and mother.  A short time later, I attend a homeschool conference in Texas and my eyes cast upon Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss.  For nearly 10 years it remained my only professional development book.  I've blogged about it previously and won't take time to repeat those words here.  Suffice to say that this book developed me as a woman in love with Jesus.

But what about Mothering?  I didn't have a clue!  My mom gave me a HUGE encyclopedia of Childhood Diseases from the 60s when I had Lyndsay in 1990.  About the only help I got from it was determining types of rashes.  (grin!)  Praise the Lord, at the same conference I discovered Stepping, I also found Sally Clarkson, a Mom after my own Heart!  Ideals, children, love of God and fellow man, how to live that out in a world of sin and struggle were personified for me in this sweet woman.  I bought her books, all of them.  Sally's training with Campus Crusade in her early 20s taught her to disciple and her style fit my need.  Season's of a Mother's Heart, Educating the Whole Hearted Child, Our 24 Family ways, Mission of Motherhood, Ministry of Motherhood and Dancing with my Father are all titles that I view as I look on my Mom development shelf today.  These books all lead and develop a mom and wife to see the Cross in all Circumstances she may face.  Training in the ministry of being a mother kept me going on muscle memory of our family's core beliefs of Truth when I didn't know what to do.

Ok, but what about the ideals and desires of living a Godly life when your roof has caved in and the damage is severe?!  One author for you there:  Marilyn Meberg's What to do when the roof caves in.  Yep, that's the title of it.  Fantastic, practical, Godly guidance and council for a whole host of Satan's attempts to destroy families today.

Choosing to see when I couldn't is Mary Beth Chapman in her book titled Choosing to See.  This book pointed out the power of Community in destruction and sorrow as well as what it means to be Stewards of the pain for Him and His glory.  I highly recommend this book to any mom who's heart is hurt.

Get out of that Pit by Beth Moore helped me to realize there was such a thing as a pit to begin with.  I laughed, cried and certainly decided NOT to decorate the pit I/we were in according to the latest styles from HGTV.  Nope, it was time to build that ladder from rough hewn roots in the soil and get out in the sun and live!  By the way, those rough hewn roots were our faith, past victories and the current cave in's cinderblock remains covered in His Blood for sure footing as we climbed out.  I highly recommend this for some perspective, then pass it on to someone else and don't live in the pit.

Finally, the Prodigal Son by Father Nouwen.  Pure power.  Certainly, as a protestant family, we have some difference as it relates to worship and  God's word.  But the crux of this book is so deep.  I'm still trying to grasp the final chapter on the Father of the Prodigal.   This story is one we all take as Believers in Him.  We are all Prodigals, we all have the elder son's characteristics and we are all on the quest to respond as the Father did.  Find this one, read it and keep it.  It'll take you awhile, tho, so don't be discouraged.

A final thought on the books that help grow my heart:  I line them all up with God's word first!  I also sift them through Sermons of trusted shepherds we've been blessed to learn from.  I hope these titles help some of you.
Next up:  What's Love Got to To with It!?

How I'm doing it

The key board feels a million miles away from my heart right.  Words I want to express thoughtfully and with reverence allude.  As is often the case the thoughts I'm mulling over are prompted by a  girlfriend yesterday asking me:  "How do you do it, Kellie?"

The short answer is:  I don't.  We (John and I together) haven't.  God does.

Again, looking back at the walk this roof cave in gave us, the initial few months were one of shock and fear and a tremendous amount of tears.  In the beginning the amount of grace I gave myself as a wife and mother came from the wise words of a woman who told me the following:  After my husband died, I spent 3 weeks in bed, I couldn't do it.  I had a 1 year old crawling on the floor and I had to get up, but couldn't.  I knew instantly I wasn't alone, the black hole I felt spiraling inside was normal.  This beautiful woman's life and testimony (It's an amazing one full of such love!!!!) of restoration spoke to me and I could know that His provision for us would be enough, too.

Therapy Sessions, Phone calls with lawyers, social workers, overseeing my children's education, writing endless checks to people all took their toll on me and I would wind up spending 1/2 of my day in bed or in my chair.  I just couldn't function.  I was drawn constantly back to my foundation of Faith and I needed the rest and quiet to cling to it.  Awana verses I'd memorized with my children were my first thoughts day and night.  They sustained me.  Living on the manna of the Father above.

Romans:  There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Job:   Tho He slay me, yet will I serve Him.
Genesis:  God saw Hagar in the desert with Ishmael, I knew the I AM saw us!
Mary's reply to God's will:  Oh my soul does magnify the Lord and my spirit does rejoice in God my Savior.

If a beautiful Hebrew young girl was chosen to take on the birth of the Messiah of the World and all the anguish and joy it would bring her; clearly with that same (now crucified for me and RISEN!)Messiah's help, I could have the same maternal reply.

And so, in the beginning, needing much rest and taking it, I clung to my faith and the scriptures memorized in my heart.

Next up:  the power of good books in a mom's life and the role they played.

What to say when suffering comes

I have a girlfriend in Colorado who's heart is fresh with pain.  It's a pain I recognize through tears as we talked several weeks ago.  It's a black hole in your heart pain that a person thinks can never be whole again.
Today on Facebook my same girlfriend mentioned that people just need to listen and not offer advice and certainly not act like one of Job's *wise* friends and counselors did for him.  The power of the human ears, listening as James tells us to.  Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

I am so very blessed that within the first few hours and days after our roof cave in I had practical help from my Dad and Mom as well as 2 precious friends who brought us soup, cried with me and told me God's shoulders were big enough to handle my fear and unbelief.  Both of these ladies who ministered to me know unspeakable heart ache well.  But oh, what Glory was given to Him when these beautiful women took our broken family to His feet in prayer!

Today on my run, I listened to our former youth pastor at Paz Naz preach on my iPhone.  Keegz preached on taking the Lord's yoke and be shaped by it.  His message was powerful and I was shouting AMEN while passing the dog walkers in the neighborhood.  Here's an illustration from the sermon:

A pastor filled the altar area one Sunday morning with empty white buckets.  As the pastor began to preach on needs and burdens that the congregation had he offered the buckets up to the congregation to fill with loose change and money in their wallets.  The congregation filled them.  Then the pastor invited the people to come and take as they had need of that morning to keep the lights on, feed their families, put gas in the car to get to work etc.  Nobody moved.  The pastor thought and spoke to those in the congregation who KNEW the needs of those around them and asked them to bring them to the altar and take as they had need.  Nobody moved....UNTIL:  one shaking woman grabbed a girlfriend by the hand and took her to the altar and insisted she take as she had a great need.  The woman, sobbing, took and then turned back to find her seat.  As she did so, another woman in the congregation sprang up and said "Oh, no!  You know that's not enough!"  and she encouraged her friend with a knowledge of the need as well to take as she needed.  Her burden was lightened.  Messiah had provided for her and the congregation met the needs of others that day and left with burdens eased and a sense of compassion for one another.

That's the greatest thing you can do when someone you know is suffering:  meet the emergent need of bringing them to the Lord, showing them the way to Him, sharing your own suffering and sorrows if they are similar and applicable.  Hot soup, later a batch of cookies, ironing a shirt for court, watching my children, crying with me, listening to me, scrapbooking with me, teaching me to stamp and telling me that God's shoulders were big enough for my unbelief were enough for me to come close to me in my suffering.

My sweet girlfriend, T.H., I'm bringing you before the throne today.  How I wish I could hold you and share tears with you and LAUGH with you.  I have lovely pictures of your children and you together when they were little.  The memories I am reliving with you now we will both do one day before the Throne of the King.  Until then, please know, God's shoulders are big enough, His provision for you is great and the black hole will become sealed up in your heart through the continuous blood of Messiah washing your wound to healing.